Author Archives: speedersadaptedforcold

The Best Witch, more like.

J.K. Rowling definitely owes royalties to the writers on this project; a 1986 TV movie about a school for witches. Tim Curry, Mrs. Garrett from Facts of Life, and a 12 year old Fairuza Balk do magic and save the day from something. I had a hazy recollection of a musical number with Curry as the headmaster trying to come off as the scary dominating warlock-type with a bit of cheekyness. The miracle of the internet turns these recesses of the mind in to recesses for the mind (puns, always intended). It’s a kid-friendly cousin to his role in Rocky Horror, but to be honest I never saw that musical/movie because a) it always came across as having poor production value, and b) the music never seemed that good. Speaking of poor production value, the below would be bad for 1976. Just laughable a decade later.



Another transformative animal-eyes .gif. Click & let it load for a cycle. Thanks to Skyler.

Marion, don’t look at it!

“Hehe” Surpasses “LOL” as Most Obnoxious Thing on Internet

I know its hard to properly emote in today’s 160-character charade of communication. Most people only have a few words or seconds through which to completely convey their meaning. Simple, boiled down devices to help move along intent or emotion of thought can be important tools.

However, LOL and ‘hehe’ are just obnixious to a degree that I can barely stand. Through them, I experience a retching hatred for all things facebook, twitter, IM and text related. For whatever reason, LOL has elevated itself to a point in cultural awareness that in many cases transcends its original meaning. Therein, it is relevant to our language and spared the wrath of the cynical. However, the use of “hehe” to replace LOL as the articulation of finding something funny/being snarky, however, is an abomination. When I imagine someone making the sound “hehe” via Facebook, etc, I want to unload a shipment of condescension that would most likely get me ‘unfriended’. Hehe, indeed.

Better Band, Album or Song name?

This is a new feature we’ll be adding to SAFC. I repeat strange combinations of words and you decide how to best use it as a title. Eventually, through our joint efforts, we’ll corner the market on unique copyrightable titles and become rich beyond imagine.

Robot Jox (1990)

Robot Jox is a sci-fi movie from 1990 starring people you’ve never heard of, one of which you’d only barely recognize. It was apparently big budget, which ruined its studio Empire Pictures.

The story is one as old as time itself: Its the post WW3 future. War is outlawed, and disputes are settled via human-piloted, giant-robot battles. As you can imagine, its pretty sweet if you’re 14 years old and a huge nerd like I am was.

Anyway, it’s come up from the recesses of my vast pop-culture database because the protagonist character is named¬†Achilles. ¬†The Russian enemy in the movie yells it often, and with a Russian accent. Anyway, here’s the trailer.

Well Done .gif

Are .gif files the funniest thing in the world based on length of time and file size? Yes. This one lends credence to the point.

More About Me and this Absurd Achilles Thing

You know, I’ve always feared an achilles rupture. It stems from childhood trauma witnessing my uncle re-rupturing his, complete with a bloody failure of his incision. Ever seen a grown man writhe on the ground bellowing in agony? It sticks with you.

Thankfully, I’m not nearly the pussy he is. I had a good bit of pain in the seconds after the incident, and skiing down the mountain was no picnic. Boot removal probably should have required a biting rag (or whatever its called), but no such luck. Still, no writhing. See poll below.